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Welp, here goes.....not sure how I'll do at this but I'll give it a whirl! Hope you enjoy. "Yearning to be Average" has to do with my desire & goal to just be an average size person.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A change is gonna come.....

It's been said that in order to lose a lot of weight, you have to make a "lifestyle change."  I've always heard that and was kinda like, 'Yeah, okay, sure, whatever works.'  Not that I didn't believe it, I just didn't actually put those words into actions for myself.

Now I think I finally have.  After going at this for almost 3.5 months, I think it's finally starting to click. And that change is something that's still evolving, I believe. 

What do I mean?  Back in the beginning of November, when I told Jerry I wanted to really start trying to lose weight, work out, eat better, etc. I did truly mean it.  But it didn't take much to get me sidetracked.  Wake up on a cold morning to go to the gym?  Ehh.....our flannel sheets feel so much nicer!  I think I'll just stay home.  Do you want fries with that?  Hmmm....I shouldn't....but fries sound really good!  I'll just have a few...or five or ten.

As recently as November I felt like I was always teetering on the brink of going back to my usual routine of not working out, feeling lousy, eating whatever I wanted, etc.  It was almost like I didn't trust that I would or could stick to a routine...or a new lifestyle.

Now, here I am 3.5 months later.....not too far off being halfway to my goal......and I finally feel like I am hitting my stride...like I am finally getting those permanent changes.  The alarm goes off now and, barring a migraine like last Friday, *CHANGE* I will get up and go to the gym.  Even on a collllld morning like today.  I may have a fry....*CHANGE* but this time it literally is just two or three. 

This past weekend Isaiah and I met up with an online friend of mine for the first time...I've known her through a 'Moms of biracial children'-type website for years...I mean like maybe 6 years I've known her?  Anyway.....we only live an hour apart and we just met up on Saturday.  We had a great time and I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with her & her daughter.  We ate at Red Robin....I had never been there before (neither had Isaiah)....it's a gourmet burger place and it was really good!  Aside from the grandfather at the next table giving sips of his beer to his grandson (!?!), it was a nice restaurant.  I had a grilled chicken sandwich and 3 of Isaiah's fries..literally....I counted.  lol   At one point Isaiah had asked our waitress for a refill of his Dr. Pepper and she brought it....when he tasted it, something just wasn't right.  He told me to take a sip and *CHANGE* I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I haven't had a soda since the beginning of November aside from a Coke Zero I had at the movies in Ohio over Christmas.  That's HUGE for me.  I was drinking probably at least 20 ounces a day of soda....and not even diet, just regular because I hate the taste of diet.  Anyhoo.....I didn't want to break my streak of no soda so I couldn't even take one sip of Isaiah's not-so-yummy Dr. Pepper to see what was wrong.  So my friend Nikki & her daughter Brianna were kind enough to do it and agreed something was off.  Something as small as me not wanting to take a sip may seem trivial to normal people....but I'm not normal....just ask my family! Ha!  For me that was HUGE and signified a CHANGE.

One of the big reasons I feel this time is different for me.....I keep reminding myself of how I felt during those Breaking Points .....I felt lousy, unmotivated, no energy, etc.  So when the alarm goes off at 4:15am and the flannel sheets feel so comfy & cozy...or when the soda is passed to me.....or the fries smell SO good.... I ask myself...."Self, (haha!) do you really want to spend another summer feeling crappy?  Do you really want to feel out of breath after going up one flight of stairs?"  And now, far more often than ever before, I find the answer to be NO! and I peel myself out of bed.....or turn down that sip of soda......or have only two or three fries and then actually stop eating them. 

I'm thinking this time really is different....a change has come..

2 comments:

  1. So proud of you! You ARE making that lifestyle change. You are adding years and quality to your life. No turning back now!

    (But you sure are making me feel guilty with all those "the one Coke Zero I had at the movies in Dayton" comments! ;))

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  2. Haha!! Sorry, just didn't want to be misleading & say I hadn't had ANY soda since November. Not sure why I always have to add 'at the movies in Dayton' though. I'm weird. Haha! :)

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