Welcome to my blog!!

Welp, here goes.....not sure how I'll do at this but I'll give it a whirl! Hope you enjoy. "Yearning to be Average" has to do with my desire & goal to just be an average size person.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Success!! ::doing the cabbage patch::

Okay so the 'switching it up' seemed to work!  I weighed in this morning, lost 4 more pounds.  That brings my total to 39 so far....only 11 away from my first goal and I'm thisclose to being halfway to my overall goal!  Woo-hooooooooooooo!!!

It was so funny..I weigh in as soon as I wake up.  Jerry was still in bed but knew this was weigh-in day....I think we were both nervous after last week's weigh-in where I didn't lose any weight.  I was nervous because I really wanted to see tangible results of my hard work, Jerry was nervous because he didn't want to listen to me whine again.  :)

So needless to say, we were both very excited (for different reasons!)  I guess the longer runs did pay off....I ended up doing 3 days in a row of long runs -- 41 minutes, 50 minutes, and 45 minutes!  Today I did go back to doing a 30-minute run but with the incline so I'm hoping to basically keep my body guessing.  I'll probably do the same tomorrow, then on early Sunday morning do a long run again.  (Saturday Isaiah has an early basketball game so no gym time then).

As I've said in other posts, Jerry is a great motivator and encourager to me.  This past week when I did those long runs, he told me, "See....you can basically do anything you want to.  There's no stopping you, you can run as long as you want.  Don't put limits on yourself, just keep up the good work."  I love him.  :) 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Gut check time

So I weighed myself on Feb 17th after having weighed myself on Feb 6th....and for the first time since November, I didn't lose any weight.  Boo.  I know I've been fortunate to have had weight loss every single weigh-in but I can't deny that I was pretty bummed.  I know, I know, at least I didn't gain any weight, blah blah blah.  lol  You get spoiled though with losing 2-3 pounds every time you weigh in and like I said, I was disappointed. So I went and had a chocolate cake................

Haha!  Just kidding.  I did call Jerry to vent/whine (he'll say it was more whining, I'll say it was venting).  :)  He, like always, was encouraging and told me it was no big deal, that that will happen.  I've been doing strictly cardio for almost a month now and he assumed my body has just gotten used to the routine so it's time to switch it up. 

It's funny that the old patterns are definitely still there, below the surface and threatening to bubble up at any time.  When I weighed in my first thought was 'should I just give up and be happy with where I am now? I'm probably not going to lose any more weight, 35 pounds lost isn't so bad.'   Wow....what a wimp I am!?!  After a nice scolding from my hubby for even mentioning or thinking that, we decided to do just what he said and change it up a bit, both with my workouts & increasing my protein intake.

We had a period of warm weather for a few days and were able to get out and take a walk in the neighborhood in the afternoon.  That alone was nice for a change of pace.  The next day (Friday) after my annoying weigh-in, I went to the gym but did weights and then the elliptical.  Like I said, I hadn't done weights in a while but was glad to at least still be able to do the same amount as the last time I had done them.  I also did a short time on the elliptical, hoping that hitting my muscles in different ways than on the treadmill will give me the change I need to keep losing.  He also told me that just means I'll have to increase my time on the treadmill as well as the resistance/incline. 

As I've said before, the gym we go to is not a high-class gym, it's not crowded, it's not the place to be.  Sometimes the heat doesn't work, sometimes they're late, etc.  Well yesterday we went together to the gym and the heat wasn't working....I didn't mind that though because I get so hot anyway. AND the incline on my normal treadmill wasn't working correctly.  I was worried about not getting as good of a workout but decided to just increase my time and speed to try and make up for not having the incline. (Yes I could've run on a different treadmill but Jerry's theory was maybe it will be good for me to do a 'flat' run for a couple days, then go back to doing one with an incline, for a little change).  The longest I've run before was 33.5 minutes I believe.....yesterday I ran for 41 minutes!  AND my speed was WAY up.   I felt great, it was one of those days where you feel like you could run forever. Today I ran for 50 MINUTES!  I ran for over 4.5 miles and burned (supposedly) 635 calories (I know sometimes treadmills might not be the most accurate but even if it's close -- WOW). Woo-hoo!!  

I'm taking the day off work tomorrow.....I've got a couple events at work this weekend and haven't had much time off, plus Isaiah's off school tomorrow so it'll be a great day to take off.  I'll probably hit the weights and do some type of cardio, possibly a different treadmill so I can get the benefit of the incline again until they fix 'my' treadmill. 

Here's hoping my results on Thursday (Feb 24th) are better! I guess at that point we'll know if I switched it up enough. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A change is gonna come.....

It's been said that in order to lose a lot of weight, you have to make a "lifestyle change."  I've always heard that and was kinda like, 'Yeah, okay, sure, whatever works.'  Not that I didn't believe it, I just didn't actually put those words into actions for myself.

Now I think I finally have.  After going at this for almost 3.5 months, I think it's finally starting to click. And that change is something that's still evolving, I believe. 

What do I mean?  Back in the beginning of November, when I told Jerry I wanted to really start trying to lose weight, work out, eat better, etc. I did truly mean it.  But it didn't take much to get me sidetracked.  Wake up on a cold morning to go to the gym?  Ehh.....our flannel sheets feel so much nicer!  I think I'll just stay home.  Do you want fries with that?  Hmmm....I shouldn't....but fries sound really good!  I'll just have a few...or five or ten.

As recently as November I felt like I was always teetering on the brink of going back to my usual routine of not working out, feeling lousy, eating whatever I wanted, etc.  It was almost like I didn't trust that I would or could stick to a routine...or a new lifestyle.

Now, here I am 3.5 months later.....not too far off being halfway to my goal......and I finally feel like I am hitting my stride...like I am finally getting those permanent changes.  The alarm goes off now and, barring a migraine like last Friday, *CHANGE* I will get up and go to the gym.  Even on a collllld morning like today.  I may have a fry....*CHANGE* but this time it literally is just two or three. 

This past weekend Isaiah and I met up with an online friend of mine for the first time...I've known her through a 'Moms of biracial children'-type website for years...I mean like maybe 6 years I've known her?  Anyway.....we only live an hour apart and we just met up on Saturday.  We had a great time and I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with her & her daughter.  We ate at Red Robin....I had never been there before (neither had Isaiah)....it's a gourmet burger place and it was really good!  Aside from the grandfather at the next table giving sips of his beer to his grandson (!?!), it was a nice restaurant.  I had a grilled chicken sandwich and 3 of Isaiah's fries..literally....I counted.  lol   At one point Isaiah had asked our waitress for a refill of his Dr. Pepper and she brought it....when he tasted it, something just wasn't right.  He told me to take a sip and *CHANGE* I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I haven't had a soda since the beginning of November aside from a Coke Zero I had at the movies in Ohio over Christmas.  That's HUGE for me.  I was drinking probably at least 20 ounces a day of soda....and not even diet, just regular because I hate the taste of diet.  Anyhoo.....I didn't want to break my streak of no soda so I couldn't even take one sip of Isaiah's not-so-yummy Dr. Pepper to see what was wrong.  So my friend Nikki & her daughter Brianna were kind enough to do it and agreed something was off.  Something as small as me not wanting to take a sip may seem trivial to normal people....but I'm not normal....just ask my family! Ha!  For me that was HUGE and signified a CHANGE.

One of the big reasons I feel this time is different for me.....I keep reminding myself of how I felt during those Breaking Points .....I felt lousy, unmotivated, no energy, etc.  So when the alarm goes off at 4:15am and the flannel sheets feel so comfy & cozy...or when the soda is passed to me.....or the fries smell SO good.... I ask myself...."Self, (haha!) do you really want to spend another summer feeling crappy?  Do you really want to feel out of breath after going up one flight of stairs?"  And now, far more often than ever before, I find the answer to be NO! and I peel myself out of bed.....or turn down that sip of soda......or have only two or three fries and then actually stop eating them. 

I'm thinking this time really is different....a change has come..

Thursday, February 10, 2011

There were treadmills as far as the eye could see......

So I went to Planet Fitness the other day and I survived.  Eh.  lol  Not surprisingly, I did see 3 people there that I knew.  Now, at 5 in the morning you don't look exactly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and of course, that was when they decided they needed to take my picture for their I.D. system.  I imagine all the Planet Fitness employees sitting around in the evenings looking through their computer, guffawing at the pictures of people at 5 in the morning.

There were quite a few people there for being 5 in the morning...you have to remember I'm used to being one of maybe 3 people in my gym at a time.  There were probably 30 people in this gym.  I will say, however, it didn't feel overly crowded because everybody was spread out and there was a ton of treadmills, ellipticals, etc.  In my opinion, the weight section did not compare to my regular gym....while it had a sizable weight section, our gym has more free weights, machines, anything you can think of.  I guess it's known as more of an iron gym and now I understand why.  The emphasis here was definitely cardio. 

I was able to go in a corner by myself and get on the treadmill without feeling like too much of an outsider.  All in all it wasn't bad, my only complaint is the treadmills were too close together.  It was fine with me because nobody was on either side of me but during the peak times, I think my sweat would fall on the person next to me!  Then again I'm never there at peak times so hopefully there's never a huge rush of people wanting treadmills at 5 in the morning.

Each treadmill has a pad attached to the handle of it (picture it on the railing next to you) that allows you to change the channel on the TV, turn up the volume, etc. but as I was walking/running, my arm kept hitting it!  THAT was annoying.  lol

I had a mini panic attack while I was on the treadmill.....fairly often I end up having to go to the bathroom when I'm at the gym.  So I'm on the treadmill and thinking....man I need to go....oh no!  Where is the bathroom?  I don't want to get off the treadmill and go wandering around looking for the bathroom!  Fortunately I was able to finish my time and on my way out I spotted the bathrooms so I'm prepared for next time!

I was proud of myself for venturing out into a new gym....and without Jerry!  I was happy to go to my regular gym the next two days (the owner was on time today!) but am planning to make myself to go the new gym tomorrow morning so I can start to feel more comfortable.  At least I know for sure they'll be open.  I'm hoping to go at about 4:45 instead of 5....just 15 minutes may give me just the extra time I need in the morning.

Monday, February 7, 2011


Hiccups are annoying.  I had a few hiccups over the last couple weeks or so.  To start, this winter, especially January, has been TOUGH here in CT.  The Hartford area got 60+" of snow in January alone.  So needless to say......I'm ready for spring.

One of the things I love about our gym is there's not very many people there in the morning. It's usually just me and the 'I hold onto the equipment with paper towels' guy.  I like that.....I like a little solitude, plus I don't like to feel crowded.....I want to feel at-ease while I sweat!

I go to the gym at 5am every day for the most part.  Well, I get up at 4:30, hoping to be there by 5 every morning.  Problem is, (hiccup # 1) maybe 50% of the time, our gym isn't open on time.  It's supposed to be open at 5, but a lot of times it's not.  That's a big problem for me as my time is very limited.  I usually don't have time to work out in the afternoon or evening because of Isaiah's sports, homework, etc.  so I go in the morning before work.  If you know me at all, you know that I am NOT a morning person but it works out better for me to get it done first thing.  Plus my energy level is pretty low by the evening.

So back to the gym.....there is a relatively new owner at our gym, she bought it within the last 12 months or so I'd say.  She's a young(er) female and I love that she's a business owner, I almost feel proud that she was able to do this, to buy a gym!  But the problem is....she's rarely on time to open!  There is a young guy who works there as well, he is SUPER reliable and is NEVER late.  The owner, however, is almost always 5, 10, or 15 mins late.  That's a problem for me because as I said, my time is super limited.  I need to be in & out of the gym by 5:45 to get home, shower, & wake up Isaiah for school.  So every time she's late, I have to lessen my time on the treadmill by that much. That's frustrating.  Part of what is helping me to be successful with weight loss so far (35 pounds as of 2/6!) is having fairly consistent workouts.

As I said in the beginning, the snow has been insane here this winter.  That leads to hiccup # 2......if there's snow or school delays, for the most part, our gym will open late as well, or perhaps even close.  That's not a problem if I don't go to work...but it's a problem when they have a delay the day or two after a storm....I think at that point it's just someone not wanting to get out of their cozy bed to open the gym. 

So what to do with this situation?  We've (nicely) complained to the owner, she offered and gave me her cell phone number to call her if nobody was there by 5:05am.  While it was a nice gesture, it doesn't help me much because even if I call her to tell her nobody's there, it's going to take her 15 mins to get there.  By that time it's too late for me.

Our next solution.....there's a Planet Fitness across the street.  Yay.  (Yes I said that sarcastically).  Not sure if they have Planet Fitness in OH or not, but it's basically a big chain gym,  and it's THE gym to work out at around here.  Everybody we know has a membership there and I've fought & fought to not join that gym.  I like our fairly-empty-at-5am-if-they're-open-on-time-gym.  I didn't want to go to the gym where everybody else goes...I didn't want to be crowded....I didn't want to run into people I know who haven't seen just how much I am capable of sweating (a LOT).  But what's a girl to do?  To make a long story short (too late! Ha!), Jerry went and signed me up for a membership last week.  Planet Fitness is ALWAYS open on time, they NEVER close, during the week they are open 24-hours a day. The membership is minimal ($10 a month) and it probably seems crazy but I do want to keep my regular gym membership (also $10 a month) because I am so much more comfortable there and would prefer to go there if I can.

Tomorrow.....I'll tell you about my first trip to Planet Fitness! *hiccup*

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Training (cue "Rocky" theme music)

So as I said the other day, one of my goals is to run a 5k in September.  I am planning to run one or two before then....you don't want a 5k in NYC to be your first!  Talk about pressure! I have to make sure I can do it well and not embarrass the family name.  Haha!

Where do you even begin training for a 5k?  For myself, what has worked:  I started off on the treadmill at the gym.  I always walk for approx 4 minutes to warm up....the first time I was on the treadmill in November, I decided to see how long I could run.  I ran for 3.5 minutes.  Yep. 3.5 minutes.  I thought I was going to pass out....that's how out of shape I was.  I walked more, then ran I think maybe 2 minutes more?  Even though I knew in my head it wasn't much, I was proud for even doing it.

Gradually and with every week or even every time I was on the treadmill I'd try to increase my running time, even by just 15-30 seconds.  I am now at the point where I can run for 30-31 minutes straight.  The pace I run at (5.4 or 5.5 mph), has me running a mile in 11:06.  So I'm almost up to running 3 miles already!  In just under 3 months of training.....not too shabby.

In November when the weather was still tolerable outside, I would take walks in the afternoon in our neighborhood.  Our neighborhood is great -- it's dog-friendly, there's lots of small hills, great to train in.  I would take Tyson, our pitbull, on a walk for about 20 mins and it was great for that added cardio.

In the late winter/spring I'm going to start doing the same again, but hopefully with some running in the neighborhood.  I really do like going on the treadmill, I have all the numbers in front of me...speed, incline, minutes, calories burned, etc.  but running on the treadmill is just not the same as running on the street.  I learned that lesson....during a nice warm day in late November or early December I decided to go run at the track at the high school instead of going on the treadmill.  Wow - what a difference.  My legs felt like jelly before I finished even a lap (1/4 mile).  I think it's because you don't have that momentum that the moving belt on the treadmill gives you....it's almost like a boost.  And of course, when I run a 5k, it's not going to be on a treadmill, it'll be on non-moving ground (non-moving aside from me moving my legs on it!)  I want to be prepared.  I want to go into the 5k confident that I can finish with no problem.

Here's the current walk/run I'm doing at the treadmill this week....I'll probably try to increase it within the next week (if it ever stops snowing!)

4 minutes walking at 2.0 incline, 4.0 speed
16 minutes running at 2.0 incline, 5.4 speed
4 minutes running at 3.0 incline, 5.4 speed
4 minutes runnning at 4.0 incline, 5.4 speed
6 minutes running at 5.0 incline, 5.4 speed
2-3 minutes cooldown period

My husband, Jerry, is THE best motivator/trainer!  He is pushing me constantly, always encouraging, always telling me to do more and push myself.  That makes SUCH a difference.  I can get stuck in a rut, especially on the treadmill; he's always telling me to increase my incline or time, even by 15 seconds.  I'm so thankful to have him in my corner.